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Community Views: Why Playmates would be better than seals at Pool

By Joe Guiney

When I give the zealous supporters of the Children’s Pool seals all the reasons why I think 200 seals shouldn’t be squatting in downtown La Jolla, I always ask them for their counter argument, and they say, “I like to look at the seals …"

OK. You know what? I’d “like to look at” 200 Playboy Playmates out there, prancing about … playfully frolicking in the surf. This would be raw nature that kids don’t often get to observe up close, and they might even attract MORE tourists.

This would be controversial, but so what? Can’t we just give the Playmates just one beach to call their own?

Now, 200 Playmates may not seem appropriate, but then again, they wouldn’t be nearly as inappropriate as fetid seals.

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Consider:

-Playmates use modern sanitation facilities, thus Children’s Pool Beach - once one of the most beautiful (and now most polluted) beaches in the U.S. would no longer stink. And bonus - Playmates smell good.

-Playmates would respect the marine preserve, and even if they didn’t, they could never eat as many fish as a seal.

-Playmates are not so attractive to sharks.

-Ellen Scripps really did a lot for La Jolla, but like Flounder in “Animal House” (screwed) up - she trusted us. And now our reprobate “leaders” are willfully undermining that trust.

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Why would anybody ever give anything to the city of San Diego again? The presence of Playboy Playmates, however, would not violate that trust.

Presumably, it would still provide James Hudnel and others of his ilk something they “like to look at” without ruining our beautiful town.

Joe Guiney is a La Jolla resident.