Let Inga Tell You: I don’t want to say this neighbor’s pet project bombed, but ...
Sometimes the best-intentioned plans can go awry. And in the process create a family catchphrase that lives on forever.
It all started when a well-meaning neighbor who was an avid bicyclist decided our neighborhood could use a small concrete ramp from street to sidewalk so he didn’t have to stop and lift his bike up on the curb when he wanted to ride through a scenic right of way that starts just across the street from our house.
So he decided he would create such a ramp, which, as you might guess, is totally illegal. The city of San Diego takes a dim view of citizens making adjustments, however potentially positive, to city streets. But heck, my neighbor reasoned, who would even notice, other than other grateful bicyclists?
We, of course, had no knowledge of this project.
Late one Saturday afternoon, the neighbor showed up, mixed a small batch of cement and created a ramp about 10 inches wide from street to curb, perfect for a bicycle. But the cement was going to need to set overnight.
To make sure it would be able to dry unmolested, he took a medium-ish cardboard box, put a few bricks into it to weigh it down and wrapped it with duct tape. He then placed it on the sidewalk in front of his new ramp so no one could drive over it.
Meanwhile, that night, my son Henry, then a teenager and a fairly new driver, was taking his girlfriend to her North County high school’s prom. Now, anyone with a teenage son worries about them driving late at night, especially with a car full of compatriots whose brain judgment centers, like his, are very much in the still-developing phase. You just can’t count on a 16-year-old boy to say, “You know, folks, I’m just too tired to drive.” This was long before Uber.
Had it been a La Jolla High School prom, he would be sharing a limo with a group of friends, to the enormous relief of their collective parents.
When we expressed our concerns about his driving home in the wee hours, Henry was happy to agree to spend the night in North County after the prom, then return home Sunday.
A little aside here: We always had been told that if your kid is in an accident, the police call you. But if your child has been killed, the police come to your door.
So … fast forward to Sunday morning at 6:30. Our doorbell rang repeatedly. We ignored it because, well, it was Sunday morning at 6:30. Finally we heard an insistent voice through the door: “Police. Please open your door immediately.” We looked outside and there was a police car in front of our house.
My husband and I completely panicked. We already knew what he was going to say. We were sure something terrible had happened to Henry. I didn’t even bother to grab a bathrobe, rushing to the door in my skimpy nightgown. I was shaking so hard I could hardly turn the doorknob.
But when I opened the door, the officer pointed to a duct-taped cardboard box in the middle of the street in front of our house and said, “Do you know anything about this box?” Then I saw there were three more police cars out there and they had blocked off the street.
The officer said a concerned citizen walking his dog had reported seeing the box in the street and since there had been a recent mail bomb incident in La Jolla and since the box looked incredibly suspicious (it did), they thought it could be a bomb.
I was so incredibly relieved I could hardly stand. I yelled to my husband (who had actually stopped to put on a robe), “It’s only a bomb!”
I told the officer we knew nothing about the box and had thought he was coming with bad news. And I shut the door in this poor officer’s face and went back to bed. I can only imagine what this guy thought. Like a bomb in front of your house isn’t “bad news”?
Anyway … what apparently happened was that in the dark that night, somebody either ran into the box on a bike and sent it flying into the street in front of our house, or just picked it up to see what it might be and then dumped it. Those bricks were pretty heavy.
As we learned later that day, the neighbor who had put the box on the sidewalk heard the commotion and, seeing all the police cars surrounding his new ramplet, decided to investigate. I don’t remember whether he got into any trouble for it. I’m guessing the police were just as happy to be able to call off the bomb squad, which was already on its way.
But the phrase “It’s only a bomb!” has lived in family lore ever since. Especially when one needs a little perspective.
Inga’s lighthearted looks at life appear regularly in the La Jolla Light. Reach her at email@example.com. ◆
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