Divorce Requires Courage, Study Says
By Nancy Fagan, The Divorce Reporter
There are thousands of reasons a relationship can dismantle — money, sex, infidelity – but regardless of the exact reasons for failure of a marriage, most people avoid taking the plunge for lack of courage. At least, that’s what the latest study tells us on why couples avoid divorce.
According to a report released earlier this month on behalf of Slater & Gordon, 2,000 unhappily married couples determined that a lack of courage to actually divorce was the number one reason for not actually taking the plunge, so to speak. Men reported being unhappy with their sex lives while women complained about money troubles and not having enough fun.
Women feared divorce for financial reasons while men avoided separation because of a perceived negative effect on the family unit. One in four couples in the study reported staying together on account of their children.
But despite the negativity associated with divorce on the family, one of the lead researchers at Slater & Gordon said children are much happier when parents are happy – and divorce, if given the chance, can result in long-term happiness for both parents.
“Marriage when it works is fantastic but when it doesn’t it can be a terrible strain on both parties as well as any children involved,” said researcher Amanda McAlister, head of family law at Slater & Gordon.
As for the top causes for putting off divorce, the study found the following reasons to top the list.
1. Lack of courage
2. Possibility of regret
3. Hope of improvement
4. Impact on the family
5. Lack of financial security
6. Unwillingness to sell the home or move
7. Too old
8. Feeling of guilt
9. Intimidation of being on their own
10. Being lonely
Divorcing Doesn’t Have to be Hard
The truth is that while divorce isn’t as stigmatic as it once was in the past, it doesn’t make it easier to actually make the decision to separate. But that doesn’t mean divorce has to be difficult. Many couples are successful in divorcing amicably, especially if couples are willing to work together.
One of the best ways to divorce successfully is going through mediation as opposed to “lawyering up.” When intimidation is eliminated between both parties, the process of divorce is surprisingly smooth. Mediation aims to create a fair and friendly separation between both husband and wife in the spirit of mutual cooperation.
If you’re considering divorce, but fear the repercussions of the process, mediation is an excellent choice, especially if you want the process to be as bump-free as possible. For more information on mediation, log onto http://thedivorcehelpclinic.com or call us for a free consultation at (858) 863-3380.
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